Halo Repair: from Spiritual abuse

You shall know them by their words- NOT

You have heard the phrase "your actions are so loud, I can't hear you".  Nothing could be truer.  Words really communicate but only when they are congruant with actions.  When Actions and words don't match, opt for the actions.  Actions are the only important thing.  When actions and words are congruant, the words can communicate a lot of detail the actions by themselves may not convey quickly but the actions give the base story line all the time. 

In Romans God said we are without excuse because we can see his creation because seeing his actions, even without words, we are without excuse.  But the the written word fills in a lot of detail.

Have you ever turned the volume down and watched TV?  Many times I would be in an airport and be watching the news but even with too much noise to hear, I could tell the gist of what was going on.  When there is conflicting information, turn the sound off and look at the actions.

A wife with an ailing mariage told me she really wanted to make her marriage work and though she was going to counseling her other actions were not congruant.  I love you but I am not going to talk to you for the next three months.  I love you but I'm not going to sleep with you ever again.  I love you but I'm not going to eat with you agian.  I love you but I'm not going to accept any bridges from you.  I love you I'm moving out.  I said to her I'm not sure why you are going to counselling but since your marraige does not exist in the counseling office, all your actions are shouting, I DO NOT WANT THIS MARRIAGE TO WORK.

Men with indirect motives are never without an excuse but it is the skin of a reason stuffed with a lie.  they are saying one thing but their true motives are entirely different.  If you ask an honest person, you will get meaningful information.  If you ask a person with hidden agendas, you will get an indirect response.  They will give you conflicting information that will confuse and mutle and muzzle rather than clairify.  That is because the expressed motives and actions don't match but they will not tell you what their real motives are therefore there must be a smoke screen that sufficiently hides the real motive.

It doesn't make a difference why, but it is important we determine the true motives by inspecting the fruit and take the appropriate action the fruit dictates and ignore the words.